Out of Myself

Manahil Bandukwala

OUT OF MYSELF

by Manahil Bandukwala

I grow two 
monstrous heads. Red, of course 
they’re red, of course their sharp 

teeth are able 
to shred thru the vellum that coats
my body like sand

but I trust my own atoms.
Trust them to be feathers, 
ungrounded. Trust

a journey never
realized, jaws
will not unclench

no matter the raw meat
of prey. Ribs swollen,
see-through

see how fast 
my heart strikes its cage in tune 
see how they slide
closer to each other

so thick 
muscular
how close I want me to be.

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MANAHIL BANDUKWALA is a Pakistani writer, editor, and visual artist from Karachi and currently based in Ottawa. She is the author of two chapbooks, Paper Doll (2019) and Pipe Rose (2018). She is on the editorial team of Canthius, a feminist literary magazine. She was longlisted for the 2019 CBC Poetry Prize, was the 2019 winner of Room magazine's Emerging Writer Award. She is co-lead of Reth aur Reghistan, a literary-visual arts project that explores folklore from Pakistan, carried out alongside her sister, Nimra Bandukwala. See more at sculpturalstorytelling.com

Out of Myself can be found in Augur Magazine Issue 3.1.