What if We Were Fire?

Sharang Biswas

WHAT IF WE WERE FIRE?

by Sharang Biswas

“What if we were fire?” you once asked, the night
        sky clenched tight around us like
        eyelids but not tight enough
        to press us together—not yet.

“What would we do?” I asked in return.

It wasn’t the stars that burned languid holes into my
        memory
like the afterimage of sparklers I shared with you
        because white dudes didn’t get sparklers
        from their grandmothers on Diwali.

“We’d eat everything, of course,” you said, voice
        hoarse with smoke I didn’t yet know
        belonged there, “before taking flight.”

                                                       ###

When you first kissed me,
numbing-hot,
blister-perfect,
licking like campfire flames on marshmallows you
taught me how to toast because I’d
        read about s’mores in American
        middle-school novels,

I didn’t notice how your regenerating caniniforms
had already sprouted. I thought it was me—
clumsy-hearted,
jittery-mouthed—
who made our teeth clack painfully.

                                                       ###

“Did you know?” everyone asked

on the phone as I blinked away salt even though
        silicone-electric distance shielded
        my eyes
in restaurants as I replaced feelings with cheese
        from cows brushed daily for the
        highest quality milk
on social media as I pasted on grinning emojis like
        bandages—teeth, or no teeth?
        Tongue or none?

Did I know that

Your tail would outgrow our bed
your scales would scar my retinas with their lustre
your appetite would twist away from any curry I
could fling-fling on our stovetop

When your eyes grew so large you could no longer
cry, did I remember hoarse smoke and clumsy teeth
        and how you seared me when we first
        pressed naked on a twin bed so
        uncomfortable
        we slept on the floor in sticky giggles?

Did I know that you would vomit sparkles like a
grandmother’s gift?

Did I know that you would eat everything

before taking flight?

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SHARANG BISWAS is a writer, artist, and game designer based in NYC. He has won IndieCade, Ennie, and IGDN awards for his games, and has written for games including Pathfinder, Vampire: The Masquerade, Avatar: Legends and Spire. His interactive works have been showcased at numerous galleries, museums, and festivals, including Pioneer Works in Brooklyn, the Institute of Contemporary Art in Philadelphia, and the Museum of the Moving Image in Queens. His writing has appeared in Strange Horizons, Lightspeed, Nightmare, Baffling, Eurogamer, Dicebreaker, Unwinnable, and more, as well as in the 2021 edition of We’re Here: The Best Queer Speculative Fiction.

What If We Were Fire? can be found in Augur Magazine Issue 7.2.